January 2011
8 posts
Bad day
I can see the walls closing in. The air is filled with the smell of stagnation and my lungs burn. My eyes bulge as i battle with this imaginary but real foe and i am losing. Disappointed grips me panic attack holds me in a headlock. I feel like i am dieing yet i am not in any real danger.
Why am i feeling this way? Some one died my Lakers lost, barca is relegated, my girl left me and i am broke....
The answer.
U ever feel exited, bored, happy, sad, hungry full, sleepy, wide awake, in pain, cured, fat thin, bald, got an afro, clever and dim. U no what the answer for all this is? Well it is sex.
What about wars, famine, floods and pestilence, the rich the poor, the needy and the greedy, hurricanes and even acne. Just have sex.
Just have not met u yet.
I am by no means an optimist. This notion of this one person out there for everyone person is not logical. But wouldn it be wonderful if this thing is true. A girl maid just for me who even if she does not love football she understands and would watch it with me at times. A girl that is as messed up as i am and wont judge me.
Maybe this is not real but if it was i would like to tell this girl...
No logic
An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. Yea i get it i understand what it means but come now everyone knows revenge feels good. Being logical feels so unnatural its not funny. We do things that we no will hurt us and hope for the best. People there is no fucking way u will pass if u did not study for that test. That girl or guy will never love u and there is nothing u can do so let go and if u...
Playing me for a fool
Why are you playing me for a fool?
Feigning my affection
Giving me no attention
Looking at you, acting cool
Pretending as if I wasn’t schooled
I don’t know why I am so attached to you
Regardless of you being uncaring of the things you do
I am unhappy; it’s so hard to be fine
Was hoping you might change your mind
But however hard I try you won’t take the time
I...
2011
In all my 22 years i have never written down a new years resolution. But let me give it a try.
1] I will be more dedicated to anything i am doing. This means getting rid of that dont care thing that i have.
2] I will be a better person. Yea it sounds lame but with everything that i have been through i think i have allowed the world to get to me to change me. I will be a better person.
3] I...
Why i write
I write what i cant or wont say. I write because i am really shy and this is the best way i no how to express myself. I write because this way i am the master and i control what u see. When we talk we can never take the words back but when I write I can hold back or put out as much as I want. I write because this is who I am, the pen and paper are master in my world.
I Remember We Are In Love
I remember the first time I kissed your lips
The mellow feeling, the yearning; the deep wonderful bliss
I remember your heartbeat so subtle and sharp
Tense and ferocious as a fire’s spark
I remembered your smile I remembered your eyes
I could see visions of love concealed in light disguise
I remembered the movement of your body against mine
As we stared in each other’s eyes;...
